Itching to Sing

Singing could possibly be the thing I find it hardest to write about. To talk about even. I can never adequately explain what it- ; how it- ; why it- ?? I can’t really even finish that sentence.

To give you a better idea, this is the 3rd time I’ve deleted and re-started this post.

I love to sing. I define who I am by my voice. Since I was 3 years old I have sung for myself and others: for joy, for comfort, for pain. Sometimes I feel like it’s the only thing that can do for them. Perhaps it comes from singing for so many friends and relatives in hospital, or needing comfort, or at celebrations. But the thing I am asked to do – specifically me – is to sing.

That’s my gift. It’s my Why.

And my greatest fear is that I will lose my individual voice. The voice that I have become through a path that no-one else has or will. Lately I have spent so much time trying to make someone else’s sound that I’ve started to feel hopeless.

And it took today – a day where I cannot sing (medical things – yay!) – to come back to the essence of why I started this journey in the first place. To give. To be able to take that Why to more people, to help them in the way I have others.

I don’t care what other people expect of me. Where they’d like to push me to go. I have a unique voice, and it’s time I took control of where I want to take it. I’m sick of feeling scared to say what I want.

I’ve always known the roles I want: it’s time to stop fighting for everyone else’s, and carve out my own path.

M x.

Yes, I did bake this myself.

Yes, I did bake this myself.


One thought on “Itching to Sing

  1. Pingback: Coping Skill: #32. Singing Strongly | Rose with Thorns

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